Yesterday like today , someone talked to me about friends . Friends , fake and true friends .  I treasure and loved friends a lot . I am not a very good adviser , but i am there to listen all your troubles, be a ranting machine for u to rant to . You want something, i'll tried to get something for you . I see you happy, i am happy .  Yes i said when i'm down, nobody seems to be there . Someone said "don expect anything in return " Yes . i don . But who doesnt wish to have someone there to love and care for you . That someone told me to be open minded to friends , don judge what they think . Yes i predict a lot of what they think , will they bitch or wtv about me , I'm sensitive . Of course i know, i am fking annoying . fact that is me , what can i do ? That someone said i've to change my mindset and learn to make more friends .  Most of all open minded , constantly repeated this a thousand times . Friends come and go . I agree . I do have a some setbacks with some of them . I understood . I said " I've a clique " My classmates are all my best mates . Though they are not here but mentally , we all loved each other . That someone made me realised that , i'm like someone who always wanting something back and if i didnt, i'll break down . Yes sometimes , but Siyun & Vanilla is always here for me .  I grew up in a place lack of family's love , all i ask is to have friends that i love and adore and treat them as family . That someone made me cried for 2 hours + . That the worst record ever . Didnt even drank water for 6 hours and forgot about dinner . Just stayed in one corner and cried . At the same time though of my dad . Why is he always not there for me . I cried even more . I asked Jolyn , honestly, am i really a bad friend . She said no and even give me a call to check on me . Moved . Then i started to get really mad . I want to ignore that someone a lot . Why he/she want to make me so upset and hurt . Yes he/she said it doesnt benefits he/she but he/she wants me to be open minded .  I told he/she that i want to further away from he/she . It makes me think that i'm really bad friend, who only have a few friends to count on . Like a piece useless shit . When i'm typing all this shit , i'm still crying . I would never  forget about this . Because this happened before to me and this best friend of mine . To someone , these words you told me, i would keep it in mind . Goodnight .